Well, I think I’m going to start writing here again.
I really want to write more, and not just for uni essays or in my diary. I’m getting deja vu, actually — I know I talked a lot about my thoughts on writing this blog in the last post I wrote, around a year ago.
So I won’t waffle on here about my love for and habitual neglect of writing, but just to let you know I mean to keep writing here. Hopefully posting this will hold me accountable!
Yesterday, I was talking to my friend about maybe starting this blog up again. “You should,” she said. “Just for us.”
By ‘us’, she meant herself and my other two closest friends. Honestly, part of what has been stopping me is knowing that when I post here, it’s not just my best friends or family who want to read it. My parents’ friends and colleagues often ask them if I’m still writing. Every now and then, someone I’m distantly friends with will find my blog through Instagram and tell me they’ve read some of my posts. It’s always really lovely, and encouraging to hear when random people have enjoyed reading what I’ve written. But I also know I put more pressure on myself because of it.
It’s also a little weird for me to look back on all my old posts. I’ve changed a lot over the last five years, and some of the old posts feel like they’ve been written by a completely different person. Some things I’ve written on here I now disagree with or cringe at or maybe just would say in a different way. I don’t really like reading them again, honestly, but I’m happy enough that some people do.
I want to take a lot of the pressure off around posting on here. Perfectionism in my writing has definitely been a problem, and also the lofty expectations I started with for what this blog would look like. I think now I want to take this a lot more casually. I’m trying not to overthink posting this!
This might mean I’ll soon downgrade the actual website a bit — sorry in advance to anyone who might be sentimental towards this old one! It’s partly me trying to take down some of the inexplicable mental barriers I might have towards actually posting here. The main thing is that I want to be writing more often, and especially writing for my friends and family to read.
So I hope you enjoy. Thank you to everyone who’s asked me about it — this post is my permission to keep me accountable if I don’t follow through with writing more!